13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Psychotherapist Amy Morin has suffered many personal losses and hardships, and she has helped many other people get through difficult times as well.  In her book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, she fleshes out the 13 habits to avoid in order to become mentally strong.  The benefits of mental strength include a reduction of stress, an increase in your ability to handle problems, and increased confidence, leading to improved life satisfaction.


“Bad habits are like heavy weights that you drag around as you go about your day.  They’ll slow you down, tire you out, and frustrate you.  Despite your hard work and talent, you’ll struggle to reach your full potential when you’ve got certain thoughts, behaviors, and feelings holding you back.” – Amy Morin

Mental Strength Is Not…

  • “Acting tough” or pretending things don’t phase you
  • Ignoring your emotions – instead, you should understand them
  • Pushing yourself to your limits – know when to step back or take a break
  • Being completely self-reliant – sometimes you need help
  • About positive thinking – it’s about being realistic and rational, because things don’t get better unless you are willing to make

Developing Mental Strength Requires…

  • Identifying irrational thoughts and replacing them with more realistic thoughts
  • Behaving in a positive manner despite the circumstances
  • Controlling your emotions so that they don’t control you

Everyone falls into bad habits sometimes.  It’s important to practice recognizing and avoiding the pitfalls.

Overview of the 13 Things

They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.  A pity party only serves to prevent you from taking responsibility and seeing things to be grateful for.  Instead, get out and do something to take your mind off it like volunteering, helping someone, or doing another activity.

They don’t give away their power.  Take control; you are not a victim.  You have a choice in how you respond.  Be firm and respectful in standing up for yourself.  Let go of grudges, which only serve to give the other person more control over your life.

They don’t shy away from change.  Change is inevitable, so make a plan to successfully maneuver through the change and tackle it head-on.

They don’t focus on things they can’t control.  Aim to influence without trying to control, and practice acceptance.

They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.  Instead, determine who in your life that you genuinely want to please.  Make sure your actions are in line with these priorities.  It’s okay to say no if something is not in line with them.

They don’t fear taking calculated risks.  Find ways to conquer you fears, and balance your emotion with logic.

They don’t dwell on the past.  Make peace with what has happened, and develop a plan to move forward.

They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.  Learn from your mistakes.  Figure out exactly why you made them, and then develop a plan to overcome them when you are placed in the situation.

They don’t resent other people’s success.  Focus on your own path, and don’t sell yourself short.  If your current path aligns with your values, you should be able to celebrate others’ successes and cooperate instead of compete.

They don’t give up after the first failure. Failure is just a part of the journey.  Learn from it, and move forward.

They don’t fear alone time.  Alone time is beneficial for mental health.  Take advantage to think and relax.

They don’t feel the world owes them anything.  It’s not all about you.  You’re only one piece of the entire world.

They don’t expect immediate results.  Persevere.  Commit to the long haul.  That’s how to get real  and lasting results.

In Summary…

I strongly recommend reading this book and internalizing the concepts.  It is written in a friendly voice.  The stories she shares are interesting, easy to follow, and really bring each message home.  Each chapter provides key identifiers to help you think about whether you’re allowing some of the negative habits to influence your own life, as well as helpful tips for developing good habits of your own.

2 Replies to “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do”

  1. Hi,
    Thanks for this wonderful information.
    Being mentally strong is always a privilege to control others. Mental strength is not an inborn quality of a person. Our experiences, our environment, our family, our friends and last but not the least our situations make us mentally strong. So there are some qualities that will help you to make a strong mind-set. In your article you have put across beautifully. Adopt some qualities in your life is one perspective but it’s also important to perform exercises that build your mental muscle. With hard work and dedication, you can train your brain to perform at your peak.
    Hope this article will help all readers to lead themselves in the path to became mentally strong.
    Thanks
    TheV2 Team

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